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 Oh no they didn't... 
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Post Oh no they didn't...
Fair warning, I'm about to speak of religion in a wry manner. If you would be offended by such a thing, please don't read ahead, as I don't want to offend anyone here on such a volitile topic.

With the disclaimer out of the way...

I should also state that I'm quite agnostic. I have yet to find a religion that I can believe in without fooling myself with its teachings. I'm sure there's a higher power, but I have no proof of an afterlife...however I believe heavily in it. I am just forced to be curious as to what it will be like since I have not died yet and proven its existence.

I woke up this morning, did some cleaning in my room, and then turned on my gameboy advance emulater to none other than Castlevania, Aria of Sorrow - a game filled with all sorts of demons, undead and a couple of whatchamacallits. At this point I hear a knock at my door and it's a pair of street preachers. First thing I think of is "how the hell did they find me way out in the country!?"

A rather timid man introduces himself and his wife as Mike and Loise. Then he pulls out a brochure and reads the bottom of it which asks "Do you want to live forever?"

I replied "Not physically...y'know I just realized that you Southern Baptists and the Marines ask the same question, only with a totally different overtone. The Marines usually ask it to gather the courage of their fellows when they're about to embark on a mission they have little chance of surviving."

Apparently I hit him where it hurts because he stuttered much of the way through the rest of the conversation, but he went on to state "We only use....use...use 10 % of our brain. It was designed to live forever."

I was having some fun, and altogether being nice to hear him out, but as soon as he stated that I was floored. Religeon and science never seem to mix. At all. I am quite familiar that we use only a small portion of our brain...though I personally believe it varies from peron to person. Many of us are very creative and we have the ability to envision our creativities in our mind's eye before we even put our ideas on paper or as audible music...or whatever creative endeavour we work to achieve. Therefore I bet we use a good 20% in facilities that many people never excercise. And then there's the morons we've all come across in which I'd be nice saying they use up to 10% of their cranial mush that could be considered a brain. However, this is when I wanted to introduce the facts of cellular breakdown with age. Our bodies are unfortunatly not meant to live forever, and indeed when we die, our brains rot much like the rest of our bodies. It was also at that point that I would love to have introduced the horrors I've witnessed from those who have Alzheimer's Disease, when at its worst destroys all form of cognitive response.

I should have asked him where he got his everlasting brain from, I bet I could market it to voodoo doctors around the world. I was quite surprised that I didn't introduce him to science-fact, but the real problem was that I was attempting to hold my 130lbs dog back and this kind of overshadowed my ability to continue holding intelligent conversation. Perhaps I should have let the dog go and stated "His teeth are designed to remove everlasting brains! Have a good day!"


November 27th, 2004, 12:16 pm
Quick note, I have actually changed this post a bit and added it as an article to my webpage. If you'd like to see it in its final form, feel free to go to:

Please note, there's some errors on the page concerning mozilla browsers, and I assume this includes netscape. However if you use netscape, you're better of with Mozilla Firefox. I will eventually fix the problem with mozilla as soon as I have a better understanding of how PHP works.


Edit: I've made a dire error. They were not southern baptists, they were jehova's witnesses. I will correct this ASAP...that would also explain the timidness...

November 27th, 2004, 12:47 pm
Weirdo Goddess
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Post Silly man!
I would have loved to be there to see their faces after you said that about the Marines... You are such a bad boy! :twisted: Now go to my room! :wink: :P :lol:


November 29th, 2004, 10:22 am
First Knight of the Odd Republic!
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Post Slack jawed and jealous!!!
I wish my mind worked half as readily when I'm confronted with those people that believe themselves so spiritually superior to me that it is their duty to "save my everlasting mind/soul/whatever". Unfortunatly my own religious conviction also is the same power than makes it important to listen to these self-appointed saviors. I really believe that NO religion is a mistake. they can be manipulated into being, by general definition, "bad". But that is not the system it is the practice. More importantly it is the fault of the individuals that would manipulate something so cherished for their own selfish desires.

Anyway, whenever these "Witnesses" come to my door I just let them rattle on. They are never going to convert me... my soul is just fine, thank you. I don't see why it would need saving?! :wink: But I OH SO want to be your kind of man at moments like those Sol! Capable of snapping these people in the theological bra-strap!

Great story btw! I'll just assume I'm the universal balance for such events. All things balance out in the end. :wink: And I don't mind really, as long as I know that someone out there is calling a spade a spade when it matters! heh heh heh



November 29th, 2004, 7:49 pm
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you're lucky you even get these clowns to come to your door to entertain you. They don't really move around in cities (in here at least, I mean). Even if I bumped into one, they'd turn away immidiately. I look like a lost cause.
I once saw an extremely stupid one in a bus (he's the kind that wouldn't convert anyone. Especially in a culture like ours), got into an argument for the sport... but when I started to mop the floor with him, he went into "as a Pope (or whatever) once said, when someone asked him something: such stupid questions need not be answered." (That sounded much like my parents, altogether) Sure, if the pope was more stupid than the question...

And, last I checked, an Oxford student's book I'm using to learn English, said we only use about 1 per cent of the brain. "Hollowed be thy skull..."

warm-hearted, cold-blooded urbanoid;


National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse wrote:
"Teens who use drugs are 5 times more likely to have sex than are those teens who do not use drugs."

February 6th, 2005, 4:40 am
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