|MST of Belief in sex-mad demon tests nerves
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|Author:||Madrin [ May 16th, 2005, 6:20 pm ]|
|Post subject:||MST of Belief in sex-mad demon tests nerves|
Well, this is my first attempt at an MST, so be kind! Friend of mine at work found this article on Yahoo News, and I just laughed all the way through it. It’s a great article by itself, but I figured I’d give it a shot just to see if I could. Hope you enjoy it!
Original Article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050516/od_ ... monster_dc
Commentary : (Dan)
Belief in sex-mad demon tests nerves
By William Maclean
Mon May 16,10:42 AM ET
CHAKE CHAKE, Tanzania (Reuters) - Mohammed Juma starts to sweat and fidget as he recalls his rape by Popo Bawa, the most feared spirit-monster of the Zanzibar spice islands. (Okay, isn’t naming your village with the same word twice alittle redundant? And isn’t it always a ‘bad’ thing when your first witness in your article is named one of the names of God?)
"We believe reading the Koran is our only defense, nothing else," (Only defense = reading a book.... Not praying, not faith, just reading.... Gotcha)says the 41-year-old driver and father of four. "But Popo Bawa is real, and well prepared." (Well prepared...for what? People reading a book? Last I heard libraries are easy to take control of...and you only have one book....)
Vacationers on the Indian Ocean islands tend to smile dismissively at accounts in guidebooks of the bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children. But for superstitious Zanzibaris a visit from the sodomizing gremlin is no joke. (All I can think of is Stripe from the first Gremlins movie...he seemed like a sodomizer)
Although no one ever has seen it, belief in the monster and his unnatural lust (If lust is defines thusly: Intense or unrestrained sexual craving. Then what constitutes ‘unnatural’ lust?) is so strong that entire villages will sleep out of doors for protection (Okay...is ‘protection’ not defense? Book reading and sleeping outside.... These ppl need guns or swords or something....): Popo Bawa (Swahili for Bat's Wing(Bat Wing...hahaha! What? Oh...y’all don’t know that joke.... I won’t post it on here, since its alittle adult, but lets just say its...icky....)) prefers to attack behind closed doors at night.
In huts set amid rustling groves of jackfruit and mangoes (Is that supposed to be mango trees? Something about the term...’rustling groves of mangoes’ that just sounds wrong....)on Zanzibar's Pemba island, victims told Reuters in interviews that they detected a bad smell, became cold and went into a trance in the moments before they felt the creature's inhuman strength.
Some attacks were heralded by the sound of giant wings and claws rattling (What do claws sound like when they rattle?) and scraping on huts' tin roofs. Others cringed in terror at what sounded like a car engine ticking over. (Okay, someone is running around with a date rape drug, a generator, and an electric dildo.... What’s more sick, that or the pedophiles?)
"We heard a rustling on the roof," recalls Asha Saleh, in her late 50s, in Machomanne village near Pemba's main town of Chake Chake. "I felt someone (Someone...not something....) fondling me. I felt very cold. I felt weak," she said, recalling the attack some 35 years ago.
"I couldn't call out for help to my husband who was lying asleep beside me. Popo Bawa is strong: He really presses down on you. And it took such a long time: One hour! Eventually I lost consciousness. And I was one of many who were attacked." (Aside from the date rape drug, this guy sounds like he’s great in bed. He’s strong, takes ‘such a long time’ and then you pass out afterwards....)
Successive waves of colonizers and traders -- Arabs, Portuguese, Hindus, Chinese, Britons, Persians and Africans -- left behind a multinational array of legends on Zanzibar.
Accordingly, many dismiss Popo Bawa as another of the satanic stories swapped over the centuries by migratory Indian Ocean peoples as they moved back and forth on the tides from Indonesia to the Comoros, from Madagascar to the Maldives. (Satanic? What does Satan have to do with a serial rapist? How can one defend against Satan if all they have is the Koran? I think they are just picking on those poor Satanists because, for some odd reason, they are stereotyped for being evil. Shame on them!)
Zanzibar's distinctive past as an Arab-run slave market (What does Satan have to do with Arabian slavery?!?!! Grrr.) prompted some academics to speculate that the story of Popo Bawa emerged from a collective race memory of the horrors of slavery. ( ‘Collective race memory’? I thought there was no ‘race’ but the human race, and everyone else had skin tones, and they wonder why bigotry won’t die....)
But Popo Bawa is unlike the many goblins believed by the islanders to populate the tall grasses that ring their huts. (Okay...before they said it was a gremlin, and before that an ogre. I do believe BOTH are different from goblins.... Why can’t he make up his mind on what species this friggin’ thing is?)
Many on the islands are adept at exorcisms(I thought exorcisms was a Catholic thing....), placing charms at the base of fig trees or sacrificing goats to avert evil or draw favor from the spirit world. (Okay, noone has said its an evil spirit...they have said Demon, Ogre, Gremlin, and Goblin, so what will all that charm stuff do?)
So experienced are the isles' traditional healers that they draw visitors from the Gulf and east Africa, with the successful amassing riches and prestige.
But no placatory offering or witch doctor can deflect Popo Bawa when he has made his mind up to strike, islanders say. (Maybe because he’s a Demon, Ogre, Gremlin or Goblin? Duh!)
The monster favors Pemba, the poorer and more backward of the archipelago's twin islands despite being home to the clove plantations that provide the mainstay of Zanzibar's economy.
He also becomes active at election time: a habit that is testing nerves ahead of polls due in October. (Okay...so, they have a serial rapist, with some kinda date rape drug, a generator, and a ‘strong’ powered dildo that comes around during elections.... Don’t we have that here, too? I think we call them polititians....)
His last major visitation (Okay, how are visitations rated ‘major’ as opposed to other visitations?)was during elections in 1995, when Juma says he endured his terrifying ordeal, although some reported his presence again in 2000 and in 2001. (Okay moron, we got it when you said, “last major visitation” that there were other visitations that weren’t classified as “major”.)
Pemba's population are staunch opposition supporters. Many accuse the ruling party of Tanzanian President Benjamin Mkapa of neglecting the island since 1964, when Zanzibar merged with mainland Tanganyika to form the United Republic of Tanzania. (Considering you all think that you have sex crazed imps running around raping everyone that’s inside a house and not sleeping out on the street...do you blame him?)
But Juma says Popo Bawa is apolitical even though electoral emotions seem to summon him from the beyond. "He can strike even if the opposition wins the elections," he said.
The driver vows to do his utmost to avoid what happened to him back in 1995 as he sat alone late one evening.
"Many were afraid and were sleeping outside. But I was confident and was alone in my room. I was reading the Koran for protection. After about 20 minutes I started feeling sleepy. I heard something falling on the roof. I continued reciting.
( Well, that’s where ya screwed up! You were supposed to READ, not RECITE. Gaw!) I started feeling something in the room.
"I felt my mouth becoming bigger and bigger. I started losing my ability to form words. My feeling was that my lower lip had stretched to my lap. I felt weak in my body. I became very sweaty. My experience was like that of a neighbor of mine who said his head seemed to grow to an enormous size." (Isn’t that the ailment in Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb? Oh wait that was HANDS, my bad.... Still sounds like a wild trip.)
Popo Bawa gets annoyed if villagers deny his existence (So...if we say, “We don’t have a freaky little sex crazed something or other that rapes us even if we read a book,” then he comes more? So...just say there’s a rapist in town so he’ll go away.) -- a fact to which Khamis Juma Hamad says he can testify.
Hamad, a retired village chief now aged 75, said that in 1971 Popo Bawa spoke to terrified villagers on Pemba through a girl possessed by the monster. (Now he’s a monster! Gah! Make up your friggin’ mind!)
"I am Popo Bawa," said the girl, called Fatuma, speaking in the unnaturally deep voice of a man. (Again with the unnatural word.... I wonder if the ‘unnaturally deep voice of a man’ would sound like a little girls voice...I mean, that would be ‘unnaturally deep’ to me....) "You have challenged my existence so I have come to prove I am here." (Wow, no wonder the villagers don’t believe in him, he said that in English! Duh! Ppl in Tanzania surely don’t speak English as their native language.)
Seconds later, he says, the villagers heard the sound of a car revving and a rustle on a nearby roof -- signs of Popo Bawa. "The people felt cold, almost paralyzed. They were terrified." (Wow, dude talked through a little kid, then raped the entire crowd of people. He must spend a FORTUNE on that date rape drug he has.... Heck of a generator, too!)
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